Casefiles: Patent 7314194

Welcome! I will today bring you a small peek into the world of the World Intellectual Property Organization and an invented and patented something. Enjoy.

BACKGROUND OF THE INVENTION

The present invention relates to a novel and useful device for controlling the unraveling of a toilet paper roll.

Toilet paper is mounted in many cases to a holder which permits the toilet paper core to rotate when sheets of toilet paper are removed from the roll for use. In most cases such a mounting system is adequate to mete out toilet paper as needed.

However, pets such as cats, young children, and the like have a tendency to unravel or unroll toilet paper unnecessarily. Such unraveled paper must be discarded since it is often contaminated by contact with the floor or other items.

Well, well, well. This sounds promising, don't it? Who hasn't unravelled a roll of backside wipes and by accident carpeted the toilet floor? Surely we'd welcome a solution to a common household problem that has plagued mankind from the time he learned to wipe his own behind.

Now, now... which genius has delivered us from this predicament? I shall dedicate a blog article and half an hour of my time to celebrate the achievement of MONOSOFF, Tamara, A.; 125 Grover Lane, Walnut Creek, CA 94596 (US).

Give up.

I tried, I did, to appreciate the beauty of his toilet-roll-locking-mechanism that saves-the-earth-one-toilet-roll-at-a-time, but I was confounded by the scientific explanation of his invention. Mercy to those who are genuinely searching for solutions to common lavatory predicaments, and not actually actively seeking out a migraine. I shan't extract the entire PHd level analysis into this space. But, and you have been warned, IF, if, if you are still unwavering in your quest to get a headache from reading the passage in its entirety, please click here: GET YOUR PANADOLS AT THE READY!

Now, grant me the pleasure of making the introduction to an alternative solution that, although apparently not as patent-worthy as Mr/Ms Monosoff, Tamara A.'s highly complex award-winning toilet roll locking mechanism, Patent number 7314194, wins me over with its simplicity, aesthetics, and haptic nature. You be the judge.

Imagine sitting on the toilet, having finished your business, you fold up your newspaper/novel/psp, then reach over and tug at this adorable square of paper. Kata-kata-kata-kata. The clinking of the square-shaped cardboard centerpiece against the shiny holder produces a harmonious, comforting sound. By interaction with this simple, heart-warming design, your relationship with the effects of your bathroom has suddenly been transformed - a yearning for your next period of personal time in this special place wells up inside of you. This is simply one of the myriad of examples where the essence of a very human experience is enhanced through design.

Additional reading material, titled Usability of Toilet Rolls, this special report contains critical ground-breaking research on the effective use of toilet rolls relative to their orientation of 'over' or 'under'. Please click HERE.

Intelligent design.

Casefiles: Commonus Pencilli Erasus

The common pencil-end eraser.

Just as no self-respecting English speaking person should use the term "rubber" in reference to an eraser (Singlish-poreans, you have been warned), and condoms are condoms, not "rubbers", neither.

Yes, was just coming back to that... NO self-respecting artist would deign to using that poor excuse for an eraser on the wrong end of a pencil. If you've noticed, using it only results in dirty streaks, torn papers and an occasional speared eye. After all, you ARE grasping the pencil as you would a dagger, plus, you're moving it furiously back and forth mere inches from your face.

Accidents happen, dearie.

Casefiles: The Greatest Race on Earth!

You know it is a crazy world when you pay a discounted price of S$44.00 for a singlet, 2 ugly bags (you will only use them once in your life), countless brochures and advertisement flyers, a measly satchet of muscle rub (for muscles you never knew existed), and just to seal the deal, a packet of uncooked spaghetti noodle that you can get from the supermarket at $1.60.

Oh, did I mention that you are also paying to drag your sleepy self out of bed at 4 in the morning (a great song by gwen stefani, btw) on the 2nd of December, to congregate outside the Esplanade in the wee hours of the morning with 31,000 like-minded lunatics? No, the Great Singapore Sale is over. No, it's not a durian party. And NO, Zoukout is next week, mush-for-brains.

FYI, Zoukout is an annual all-night beach party where you fork out up to $58 to frolick in the Sentosa sand in your teeny-weeny bikini with like-minded lunatics, blasted by mind-blowing music all through the night, high on alchohol and low on cash (afterwards).

I'm talking about the Standard Chartered Marathon. This year's theme: The Greatest Race on Earth 2007/08 - Race For a Living Planet! *cheesy powerpoint trumpet sound effect*

Oh, btw, what do the Standard Chartered Marathon and Zoukout have in common?

For starters, they require you to be awake in the wee hours of the morning. Second, they leave you physically and mentally drained. And last but more importantly, just so you know, these are activities you could do for free any other day of the year. No kidding.

Most people learn their lesson after their first experience. Not me, no. I'm a slow learner, I am. Just 365 days after the my last lesson in pain, which lasted a good 6 hours, here I am subjecting myself to it all over again.

42.195 kilometers of hell.

Why am I doing it?

Because I have nothing better to do on a Sunday morning? That's not the reason.

For the bananas? Now I love bananas, don't get me wrong, and I could just stand at the banana counter eating bananas all day long. But that's not the reason.

Neither is the free 100plus.

Is it because I've already paid $44? Well, partly.

For the Finisher's Tee? Nah. That's probably less than a dollar in production costs.

I'll tell you why I'm doing it. For the chance to break my existing record, that's why! After all, there's a good chance I'd hit a WHOPPING 7 HOURS this time round!

The only thing that bugs me is that I'm running for 7 hours straight only to end up back at square one. I start at the Padang and end at the Padang. I'm not going anywhere, and neither are 31,000 other people. It's like they are using their weekends' off from the rat-race to join another rat-race. Both don't get them nowhere. Disturbing.

Not to mention that I have to cab back home after. Sure, you may own a car, but your feet will be so beat that you will end up crashing due to cramps. After all that running, I return to the Starting Point cunningly renamed "The Finishing Line". I might as well jog all the way home. At least that way, I AM going somewhere. Bah.

And I haven't been training, neither. So, this may very well be my last post, dear readers.

Cheerio!


For more information on The Greatest Scam- I beg your pardon - The Greatest Race on Earth, please visit http://www.thegreatestrace.com/

Casefiles: The Blackle Incident

The lowdown on Blackle, the new black Google: it doesn’t save as much power as envisioned. Was the entire project a waste of time and resources?

I think not.

While Blackle failed to accomplish the energy savings it was supposedly designed for, it actually achieved something far greater and on a deeper level than straightforward statistics.

The Blackle Incident served to bring about a greater AWARENESS of THE NEED TO SAVE ENERGY.

For those of you still in the blac… I mean, the dark, saving energy couldn't be easier. Is it that difficult to turn off the power to your PC/ADSL modem every night? If you are really serious about saving energy and Saving OUR Planet, get to it!

Spread the message. Awareness is the key.

PLANETEERS, LET OUR POWERS COMBINE!!!