Essential Life-Skillz: Keeping a pet?

Dogs, cats, mice, hamsters, rabbits, mynahs, parrots, lizards, fish.
Apart from simply being animals, what do the above have in common? Pretty obvious right? The above animals have and can be domesticated. You can tame them. People keep them as pets.

Have you ever wanted to have a pet? Have you thought about why you wanted a pet?

I mean, you have to clean up after it, bathe it, you have to spend money buying food and accessories for it (somewhat akin to keeping a girlfriend, but CHEAPER), you have to make sure it gets enough exercise (hopefully your girlfriend does this on her own), and last but not least, you have to provide it love and care.

Sounds simple? These are just the 4 basics when it comes to taking care of a pet. But there’s a LOT more to it. Let’s break it down; see if you have what it takes to look after one.

Bathing and cleaning up after it. Hell, some people won't even do the same for their aged parents; they get all icky about it, which is wrong. Surely our parents are worth much, much more than animals in our eyes.

Next, feeding a pet. Easy right? Just ensure both bowls are filled with food and water. But have you noticed there are an increasing number of anorexics these days? Worrying? They can't even manage their own diet, not to mention anyone else's. I’m quite surprised to see that dogs don’t piss on their spindly, lamppost-thin owners, just to mark their territory. I’m joking-dogs are too intelligent to do that-more intelligent than some people I know.

Let's talk about exercise. Do you walk your dog? Do you let your rabbits out once in a while? Do you invest in a hamster-wheel (or treadmill) for your little rodent friend? DO YOU EVEN EXERCISE? Once in a blue moon? Once in a moon with purply-pink-striped-and-gold-sparkles? Oh, I know the perfect pet for you, yes you, you couch-potato. A real low maintenance pet - a sloth. You can enjoy Saturday Night Movies & Sunday Matinees together, a bowl of popcorn in between, but if you move any slower the sloth’ll get all the popcorn.

Love and care huh. First, show a little love and care to the elderly and disabled. Same goes for your parents and siblings.

So much for taking care of a pet. But lets get back to why people have pets.

I remember a conversation with Meiying sometime back about her adorable pet Chinchilla. This is how it went:

kev: Hey… What IS that?
Meiying (matter-of-fact tone): It’s a Chinchilla!
kev: Cool! It’s like a mutant rabbit-mouse hybrid!
Meiying: No! It’s a species all by itself!
kev: Wow… So what can it do?
Meiying: It can jump!
kev: Alriight! Is that all?
Meiying: It’s cute and furry, nocturnal and has retractable claws too!
kev: So it’s awake when you’re asleep and can hold its own against burglars?
Meiying: Yep! :)

2 utterly useless attributes if you ask me, but it makes up for them in cuteness.

Why not invest in a pet that eats pests like flies & mosquitoes? (Lizards/spiders)
Eats garbage? (Cockroaches)
Eats your homework? (Dog)
Eats pests like an annoying younger brother? (Piranha)
Or one that can talk to you? (Parrot)
Heal wounds? (Leeches)
Beat you at chess? (Chimpanzee, you stupid fool)

Keeping pets like these are a whole lot more beneficial. Dogs, cats, chimpanzees & gorillas make for intelligent pets; give them a little time and training and they could probably do your homework better than you could ever do. Dolphins are by far the smartest of the lot. Ask me why when you see me.

But I digress. The most rewarding attribute of a pet is unconditional love. They love you unconditionally, and with all their heart. There is a saying about an ugly man: “The only woman that’ll ever love him is his mother.”(Don't say this to your male friends)

It’s THAT kind of love I’m talking about. You are ALL THE WORLD to your pet. You are like what the Sun is to the Earth. You are the Wind to the Sailing boat. You are No-Signboard-Seafood-Restaurant-Chilli-Crab to Singaporeans (I should be paid for this advertisement, bah). You are Garbage! To the Karang-guni-man, of course...

Show that same love for your pet, please.