1. Resist all temptation to prepare shopping lists of any kind so you can endlessly wander through malls trying to remember what it is you need to purchase.
2. Accumulate as much stuff as possible, especially clothing and technology, so you can take extra time to find anything you might be looking for in carefully unplanned piles. Never, ever throw anything away or donate unused items to charities.
3. Eliminate every form of filing system that might organise contact details, passwords, banking documents, correspondence, warrantees or personal medical, or legal information.
4. Subscribe to all available cable, broadband and satellite television services available in your area so you can channel-surf into the wee hours.
5. Carefully read every email message that comes into your inbox, clicking every link, thoroughly exploring every website and opening every attachment. With luck, you will get a virus or worm on your computer and spend days with IT support.
6. Get in the habit of forwarding email jokes to friends, colleagues and even supervisors. This not only wastes your own time, it effectively wastes others' time as well.
7. Respond to each item of work as it arrives on your desk, avoiding any attempt to streamline your workflow or prioritise your activities.
8. Immerse yourself completely into every social networking site available on the Internet, carefully completing every section of your profile. Regularly update your status, upload photos, read every post you receive and share all forwarded posts with everyone on your lists.
9. Work long hours with no breaks and minimum sleep to effectively reduce your productivity levels and increase the length of time it takes to get even simple projects done efficiently.
10. Reject any form of meditative practice that may help clear mind traffic and improve focus.
-Kinzie
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