Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Golf is for everybody

Golf is such a great sport, ya know. Relaxing yet invigorating at the same time. Good on the back too, all that hard, repetitive twisting and swinging in the same direction. 


It's saturday afternoon. Imagine taking a walk on the turf, beautiful sunshine (of course you're all covered up in a polo tee and cap), the softness of the greener-than-green carpet grass ('course you're wearing your golf shoes), sand traps with soft white sand (take care not to get sand in your shoes), and clean, clear waters, a lake, maybe (and 'course you're not gonna take a swim, not even a dip). 

Yea... There's nothing like spending a weekend afternoon playing golf, sending that dimpled golfball 100, 200, 300 yards away and lugging your heavy-as-hell golf cart after it. 18 times. Or, if you have a buggy, hop in and buggy over to wherever you've sent the golfball. Renting a buggy will effectively help you avoid all the tough exercise you were gonna get from walking that day. Nasty exercise, we don't want any of that, do we? No waking up with aches and pains the next day, after a HARD, hard day of golf. 

Oh no, it's one of those times when you can't seem to find where the accursed golfball has disappeared too. I mean, the ball should be exactly where you planned it to be, right? You're a decent golfer, aren't you? Solid 3 dimensional golf balls don't just vanish into thin air. Golf clubs don't disappear either. Golf clubs can get bent from a tantrum, but they can't grow legs and sneak away, and neither can golf balls. The only possible explanation is that a gopher snitched it to adorn its burrow, or trade it at your local supermarket for a snack. Haven't you heard somewhere, that golf-course-dwelling-gophers use golfballs as currency? That's right! You heard it from Rodney, your pro golf-buddy. Said it happens to him all the time. Yes, yes. It was definitely a golfe - begging your pardon - Gopher.

Golf is for everybody. It's an ideal pastime that doesn't require much physical exertion. Unless you consider climbing up a 10 degree grassy slope exertion. Physically fit golfers will argue that going to the gym improve their swing, or enables them to climb 5 degree slopes without panting. Yes, biceps curls help when it comes to carrying the golf cart, but with a buggy you won't need to.

Like everything else, golf requires practice, practice, and more practice. Gain an edge by incorporating your golf stance even when visiting the public restroom with our 10 secret tips and etiquette from top golf champions.
  1. Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
  2. Form a loose grip.
  3. Keep your head down.
  4. Avoid a quick backswing
  5. Stay out of the water.
  6. Try not to hit anybody.
  7. If you are taking too long, you should let others go ahead of you.
  8. You shouldn't stand directly in front of others.
  9. Be quiet when others are about to go.
  10. Keep strokes to a minimum.
So you see, if you are passionate enough, even when urinating in a public restroom, you will be simultaneously improving your game. 

If you found this information useful, please leave your feedback at wedontgiveashit@golfsucks.com

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